“Marriage in Our Broken World”
Original sermon given October 6, 2024, written and delivered by Pastor Jeffrey Leininger at First Saint Paul’s Lutheran Church.
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“Marriage in Our Broken World"
Mark 10.2-16
Mark 10.2-16
In the name of the Living God and the risen Christ. Amen.
You live by the lectionary, and you die by the lectionary. Today’s assigned gospel for churches around the globe is, by anyone’s assessment, very challenging. It brings up controversial topics. It’s a reminder of pain for people who have been through divorce. It challenges those who have been divorced and remarried. It can bring about feelings of loneliness for those who have never been married, whether by choice or by circumstance. And for those young people here who hope to be married, it can be rather intimidating—do you really want to do this? And even the beautiful image of Jesus taking the children in his arms and blessing them can actually be quite difficult for some: those who were never able to have children, or who have lost a child by miscarriage or other tragic death. Even Jesus blessing the little ones can strike hard to the heart for some.
So, Jesus’ words are a challenge for us in this broken world—as they were for his first hearers. Before preaching on this text, I consulted a wiser pastor who has been in the parish longer than me—one who has a vast amount of practical pastoral and counseling experience. His first response: “Eh, just preach on the Epistle instead!” That was a joke. He second response: “They probably can handle more than you think.” I’m banking on this, this morning.
In nearly every Christian church, including our own, there are people who have been through the pain of divorce. And most all of us know someone who not only has been through it, but perhaps is still feeling the effects. Maybe you’ve sat with someone through those tears and heartaches—a friend, relative, coworker who you tried to support as best you could. Or maybe you can remember going through it yourself and can look back with thankfulness that the Lord provided people to walk with you through it—angelic-like ministers who attended to you.
This leads us to the first point drawn from Jesus’ words, which certainly is certainly indisputable: there’s no divorce without sin or pain. People make mistakes. People hurt each other. Divorce is not God’s original plan. No one goes into marriage expecting or wanting divorce. People’s lives being torn apart in this way, and families too, was not what God intended in the beginning. Even when divorce is justified—and God’s word does give just reasons for divorce, such as unfaithfulness and abandonment and abuse— but even when it is justified or necessary, there is sin and pain involved.
The wise Christian, under the leading of the Spirit, will be able to reflect on their own part in the broken marriage—not just playing the blame game, not just turned inward in bitterness and resentment, but being willing to do the hard work of both repentance and forgiveness. And sometimes forgiving yourself is the hardest part.
The biblical and historic context help us a little bit, here in Mark 10. Let me give you a couple of insights. The first is that Jesus’ teaching here is spurred by a trap-question by some Pharisees. They come not to sit at his feet, but to test, trip up, catch out and eventually condemn him.
The question would not have been foreign to Jesus, for this was one of those disputes which the theologians of the day liked to weigh in on—and they’re trying to make Jesus take sides. Based upon Mosaic law, they had developed a whole system of hoops through which you could jump in order to break this legal contract of marriage. One school of thought made it rather difficult for a man to divorce his wife; another school made it as easy as possible. And I suppose I don’t need to tell you that the woman was almost always at a disadvantage. Jesus’ words and warning here were meant to protect the most vulnerable—women and children, especially the poor, who could so easily be cast aide. (Incidentally, one Rabbi taught that a man could put away his wife for something as small as burning his dinner, so consider yourself warned!)
The second insight: most commentators agree that the historical background here, is King Herod Antipas’ own divorce and remarriage with Herodias, his sister-in-law. This was a scurrilous, conniving and adulterous marriage. Herod was going through wives about as fast as Henry VIII. So, the second part of what’s behind the scenes here in Mark 10, is the political trap they’re setting for Jesus. They’re trying to get him to say something against the King, and then Jesus’ will meet the fate of John the Baptist—imprisonment and execution.
In response to these set traps, Jesus talks about the very essence of the unity of marriage. And to do this, he goes back to the beginning—the very beginning. Before the prophets, before the crossing of the Red Sea, before Moses and the Law, before the 10 Commandments, even before the fall and before sin, God instituted marriage. Maleness and femaleness and the bond of two coming together under God’s blessings and boundaries was part of the goodness, beauty, and love of the God-breathed creation. It is a work coming from God’s own hand—as the Genesis reading makes clear.
And far from something that can be done away with by kings, lawyers, legislatures, or Pharisees, Jesus describes the bond in the strongest terms possible. The Greek is particularly powerful. This cleaving is a gluing or cementing together. So much so that our Lord describes it as two becoming one flesh.
That’s why, as I said, there is no divorce without sin and pain—because God made it, blessed it, and bonded the husband and wife together in it. It can’t be separated without tearing something apart. It is sacred cement.
But divorce is also not unforgivable. Like all aspects of our broken lives and broken world—whether you’re single, married, divorced, or remarried—we all need God’s grace for the things we’ve done, the things done to us, and even for the painful stuff we’re still trying to work through. The same Jesus who gave us these challenging words from Mark 10 also said “Behold, I make all things new.” We all need to remember that, through Christ’s word and spirit, there is no aspect of our broken world or broken lives that cannot be set right again. As much as we remember the blessings of family and marriage—and preach faithfulness— we must even more remember that God’s grace and forgiveness prevails over all our callings—and is at work in every situation.
This grace above all and in all is depicted in surprising but beautiful ways in Mark 10. Ultimately, God’s word here points us beyond even the blessings of marriage and family and children—and by so doing, reminds us that the gospel is for all of us, no matter our status or station or season in life.
In marriage, we have a picture of the union between Christ and his bride, the Church—that’s all of us. Our Lord, like a faithful spouse, gives, forgives, serves, and sacrifices—as he has done for each one of us at the cross. Today in this sacred meal, he unites us to himself in a bond closer and more powerful even than the bonds of marriage. This also is for all of us. The good news of Christ crucified is for those who are single and content; those single but unsettled; for those who have good marriages; for those with struggling marriages; for those whose divorce was justified; for those who sinned in their divorce and are weighed down by guilt; and for those remarried. For all people willing to sit at the feet of Jesus, the Lord brings repentance, restoration, healing, and all things new.
Finally, in the picture of children, we have a picture of each of us before God. Not only does Jesus let the little children come to him, but in the end, only little children can come. That’s all of us, made his own in baptism, unworthy to be in his presence, needing his touch and blessings beyond what anything—even marriage—can give us, relying upon only Christ for identity, security, and meaning.
There is a marriage beyond marriage—that of Christ and his church, which we all equally partake in. There is a childlikeness beyond earthly children—each of us, no matter what we’ve been through, are received by Jesus. And there is a blessing beyond even the blessed things of this world—a new world awaiting us, where there will be only one family, one father, and one love forever.
Come soon, Lord Jesus. Amen.