“Joseph’s Dilemma”
Original sermon given on the Fourth Sunday in Advent, Sunday, December 21, 2025 written and delivered by Pastor Jeff Leininger at First Saint Paul’s Lutheran Church.
Watch the sermon live.
“Joseph’s Dilemma”
Matthew 1.18-25
In the name of the Living God and the Christ who is to come. Amen.
Let us consider the situation from Joseph’s perspective. He’s got to be conflicted by all this, hasn’t he? On the one hand, he has a right to be angry. The woman to whom he is engaged has come back from a three-month visit with her cousin Elizabeth, and surprise, surprise(!) she is with child. Jewish betrothals were legally binding pre-marriages — much more serious contracts than our engagements today. They could only be broken by divorce or death, and so Joseph in this culture could have every right to shame her publicly. In fact, strictly speaking, according to Mosaic Law (Dt. 22.23-24) she could be stoned for such an offense. She has betrayed his trust, insulted his family, taken him for a fool, and now (so he initially thinks) she has tried to justify herself by muttering something about the “Holy Spirit” hovering over her. So, we might think he has a right to be angry, and in that culture a public shaming (at least) would have been justified.
But Joseph does not do this. On the other hand, Joseph’s dilemma is his affection for Mary and his own righteous character. He did not want to expose this young woman whom he loved to public shame (or worse). He doesn’t want her to suffer anymore than she already has. And we might speculate, perhaps he thinks she is not quite altogether stable. All this talk of angels appearing and miraculous conceptions and royal births and all — perhaps he pities her desperate mental state.
It took a message from “the angel of the Lord” to change all this for Joseph, but before he’s given the dream, Joseph chooses a kind of middle road. He decides to “put her away quietly.” That is, he will give her a certificate of divorce privately but not have her judged publicly and scorned. In this, we are given a glimpse into Joseph’s gracious disposition – a characteristic as rare today as it was back then. Put yourself in his position. What would you have done? How quickly do we point out the ways we’ve been wronged! How easily do we clamor on about our rights or demand justice for ourselves and retribution upon others! How readily we complain when our life (or even our day!) isn’t going just as we had planned!
And yet here we see Joseph — shamed in about the most grievous way a man could be in the first century; his life being completely rerouted in an unexpected and undesirable way — and yet he acts graciously. He brings a measure of dignity into an undignified situation. Forced with a choice between righteous retribution and the assertion of his rights on the one hand, and the gift of grace, he chooses the latter — and this is before the angel appears to him in a dream to confirm Mary’s story and give him the full picture of what God’s really doing.
Of course, this story is not really about Joseph. St. Joseph’s Day (March 19) is celebrated in some parts of the world by people providing food, shelter, and other acts of fatherly kindness to the poor. Not a bad idea. We assume that Joseph was a good stepfather and husband because he is shown here to be a just man — being gracious amid great adversity. (That’s practically the definition of “righteousness” — doing the right think even when it’s hard.) To model this in our lives is certainly a godly response to this account. But let’s pause and think about it: why is Joseph even mentioned here in Matthew, in the first place? The reason he is mentioned is precisely to drive home the point that he is NOT Jesus’ biological father. What he isn’t is more important than what he is. He is NOT Jesus’ real Father: that’s why he’s in the story at all.
In fact, this is what gives the account its marvel and delight and its power to make any difference in our lives. Jesus was truly human by his mother, Mary; and he was truly divine because he was begotten of a miracle of God, not Joseph. That’s St. Matthew’s point. Human by his mother but of a miraculously divine father, Jesus was Godman, Immanuel, God with Us. Only because of this was he able to save his people from their sins.
So, the story is really about Jesus: in Jesus, we see God in human flesh, fulfilling perfectly everything that a human is supposed to be, but also divinely powerful, conquering sin and death and hell as only God could do. In Jesus, we see the intervention of God right into the depths of the human condition, bringing light where there is darkness; healing where there is hurt; love where there is hate; salvation where there is condemnation; graciousness even amid our ungracious lives. All this is possible only because of what Joseph was not — Jesus’ biological father.
It is noteworthy that Joseph’s life is given significance only because it was touched by the life of Jesus. Joseph is written into his story. Joseph hears the message of the angel, believes it, takes it to heart, and acts in response to it. Even along the difficult road which lies ahead for Joseph — public disgrace, a long journey with a pregnant wife, fleeing from Herod, hiding as a refugee away from home, loving a son not really his own, his whole life constantly hearing neighbors mocking his family with their snickers of “isn’t that Joseph’s son” — amid all this, he holds onto the promise of “God With Us”: God’s grace amid our ungracious lives, and lives in response to it.
Brothers and sisters, in this last breath of Advent, with Christmas a few days away, we can do no better than stand in Joseph’s place. Our lives are given significance because they have been touched by the life of Jesus… Immanuel, God with Us, who has saved us from our sins. To have our stories written into his story is to be given meaning beyond anything this world of retribution and retaliation can offer. It is to live lives given grace and giving grace. It is, like Joseph, to hear again the message of the angels, believe it, take it to heart, act in response to it, and, even along the difficult roads which may lie ahead for us, like Joseph hold onto the promise of “God with Us.”
Come soon Lord Jesus. Amen.
