Gaining Your Brother
Original sermon given on The Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost, September 6, 2026 written and delivered by Pastor Jeff Leininger at First Saint Paul’s Lutheran Church.
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“Gaining Your Brother”
Matthew 18.15-20
Gaining Your Brother
In the name of the Living God and the risen Christ. Amen.
We’ve all been there. Two common but difficult and even painful scenarios: first, someone’s been gossiping about you. Maybe the information’s true, maybe it’s only partially true, maybe it’s a complete lie, but in any case, you just wish they would have first come and spoken with you directly. You could have cleared the air, or resolved the problem, or clarified a misunderstanding, or apologized and asked for forgiveness, or confronted them about what they were saying. But you were never given the chance, and now the truth, the partial truth, or the total lie has grown like a cancer among your coworkers, roommates, neighbors, or family members. The damage is almost impossible to repair.
Scenario number two. You’ve got some information. It’s rather juicy, maybe even a bit seedy, definitely not positive, and you “share it” with someone. (“Share.” I love that word. Covers a multitude of wrongs.) By “share” we usually mean “spread gossip.” Now the “information” you want to “share” might be totally true, or only partially true, or completely false, but you spread it around like a farmer shoveling cow schtuff. You could have gone directly to the person, but you didn’t, and now what you’ve said spreads and stinks while reputations are damaged and relationships severed.
Two different scenarios. Shoe’s on the opposite foot, but the result is the same. We’ve all been there, at least to some degree, which is why Jesus gives us this teaching from Matthew 18 with such clarity and directness.
On the surface level, this is just sound practical advice. We’ve got a number of people in our congregation who work in, or have worked in HR. Let me ask you: how many problems would we solve if people just had the integrity or the courage to go speak with someone face to face? If people would address the issue with the individual before “sharing it” like a manure spreader? I reckon if there were no sin in the world, those of you who work in HR would be totally unemployed (but so would I, so I guess we’re even).
So, there’s just a practical level of advice that Jesus gives here. Deal with something directly, face to face, at the lowest administrative level possible, with the least number of people possible. If you could get your coworkers, your floormates, your roommates, your neighbors, your family to do this, think about how many problems we would solve!
But our Lord’s words here in Matthew 18 are not just practical advice. Nor are they the “Christian HR Manual.” Nor are they the three-step flow chart we need to jump through before we can really get at someone. No, Jesus’ teaching here reveals something much deeper about the Christian life and the Christian gospel.
First, Jesus tells us to go when your “brother sins against you (singular).” Some translations have it as “brother or sister” or “a member of the church,” but the point is the same. You go directly to the person because the relationship matters. Not because productivity is at stake, or because HR told you to, or your teacher said you had to, but because this person who you address face to face is made in the image of God and equally loved and redeemed by Jesus. Christ Jesus lives between the two of you, and indeed within the two of you by virtue of your baptisms, and so this person, this soul, this relationship matters.
It matters more than awkwardness or uncomfortability; more than “Well, it’s none of my business”; certainly more than the delight you get from “sharing” their stuff around. We’re told to go face to face, alone before a brother or sister, because of who we both are in Christ Jesus: equally called to repentance and equally redeemed by his blood.
Secondly, you’ll notice here a continual, eager effort to “gain” the brother. This is not a “tick off all the boxes so we can fire him” attitude. The language used here is actually the language of commerce, or “winning.” Not that we “own” anyone, but the eagerness to restore them and the joy when they are restored is likened to a big “windfall,” a massive payout. Think about a sudden increased valuation of your company’s stock; or hitting the jackpot in Vegas; or an unexpected inheritance. Kind of would make you smile, right?
“Winning” or “gaining” our brother is likened to such a windfall. How much more eagerly, then, should we seek reconciliation, since he or she is a soul bought with the priceless blood of Christ? How much more joy should we have in “gaining them,” since now we have them in the truest way possible, as a brother or sister for eternity? So, the relationship matters: eagerly work to gain back the brother.
Thirdly, if we do “lose” our brother or sister — confronting them, first and repeatedly alone; then, with a few well-chosen friends, and only finally before the whole church — if we do “lose” our brother or sister, even then our rejection of them is only for their good—and to awaken them to repentance. Jesus’ words here seem harsh to us — “Let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” It should be remembered that our Lord received Gentiles and healed them (remember the Canaanite woman from Matthew 15?); and he welcomed “tax collectors and sinners.” St. Matthew himself who wrote down this very gospel was a tax-collector, so he should know, right?
The point here is never about the rejection, but always about the restoration. The hope here is that by finally using such harsh methods, the brother then would be gained back again. There’s no retribution. No arrogance. No vengeance. No self-righteousness. No self-justification. Only joy in a brother gained and a relationship restored.
Over all our relationships and our confrontations and indeed our conflicts stands the cross. We live under the life of the only truly righteous One, himself condemned by slander and lies. This means that we are equally sinners, condemned by God’s justice but equally righteous, absolved by God’s mercy. This alone should compel us to refrain from unnecessary gossip, be willing to receive rebuke, and be eager to offer gracious forgiveness. If Christians can’t confront one another, who can? If Christians can’t receive a loving rebuke, who can? If Christians can’t joyfully offer grace, who can?
In a few moments we’ll receive the Lord’s Supper as one body, partaking of his true body. All is known here before this altar. All forgiven for those who repent. All reconciled who stand under his cross. All silenced before this mystery.
May our Lord give us the courage to speak when necessary, and the wisdom to remain silent when necessary, and the grace to forgive when necessary.
Come soon Lord Jesus. Amen.
Image Source: Rossetti, Dante Gabriel, 1828-1882. Hand of Love, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt University Divinity Library, Nashville, TN. https://act.library.vanderbilt.edu/artworks/57359 [retrieved September 9, 2026]. Original source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/birminghammag/6424308513.
